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  • Cansu Ozgul

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

Getting comfortable with the unknown. I was quite good at living in the most metropolitan cities and still keeping it quiet. My friends thought I was like a cat. I almost never lived my house. Nor my neighborhood. I was literally a home cat. After years of resisting against life's adventures , life finally decided to carve me out of my home, and left me homeless. Things turned out in such a way that I had to be traveling from one country to the other for a year (and still on as I am writing these lines). I lost that sense of security when I lost my apartment in New York. I no longer had a set home. My projects for the year were not secured. I was not sure where I wanted to live next, or if I could continue to afford it. I didn't have a relationship. All my friends were scattered around the world. I was on my own. I think when life puts you in such a situation you kind of learn to let go of that perfection in your head. That image of how life should be. That 30 under 30 list you need to hit. That perfect body you have been craving. That amazing apartment you were supposed to own. That surreal love story you dreamt of. That wardrobe with stuff that would present you in the best shape. I am still struggling , if not daily. After losing those manmade securities, and facing with life's most naked realities, I let go of the reigns. In the sense that, I am into surrendering. I am so much into exploring the reality through my senses. I am so into that flow of life. This life existed long before I arrived. And it has been circulating with or without me. It is not me but life that is moving. So I stopped. I stopped moving when I realized life already moves and it moves me within. This is my surrender experiment. I no longer try to control life. I do have my goals and my dreams which I believe are supported by the universe. But I even let go of those upon life's directions. Meaning, I let them take shape through the flow. I know there is a greater source that knows what is best. And my wish is not for what I think is best to happen, but what actually is best to happen. I tend to set intentions rather than goals. What is your intention ?

If a woman can begin to appreciate and cultivate the value of an identity that is always changing, continually in flux, never completely solid, she begins to align with what shamans and Buddhists describe as “reality”. Those with sight to see into the world of energy, see that everything is made of energy, and energy is always in motion. The rest of the work is practicing to become able to accept and tolerate this vision of reality, which is in conflict with the one we were originally taught to believe in. #VickiNoble #femaleshamanism #healing #awakening #women #reference #wellness #mindfulness #quotes #selfgrowth #life #love #jamsu #jamsubycansu
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